Biggest Learnings:
Accept the limitness: we only have those weeks. Cope it head on. It feels really uncomfortable at first. That will help to tackle those problems when I indulge myself into undercommitment to choices. And live happier
I did not realize the difference of experience of time between pre-industrial revolution and post-industrial revolution. That empowers me when I realize I don`t have to experience time in a certain way. That helps me to ease the resistence I had over hustle culture in western society.
It is quite important to stay tuned with others. It benefits my mental health gravely. Think about it in a remote working environment
Some of the unique thoughts
Patience, presence, endurance of discomfort, reduction and early commitment are some of the virtues mentioned in this book. Although they sound like cliche, they could have practical value on happiness in modern life.
Instead of saying do less by doing more, the author suggest a shift to do less for the sake of doing less.
An unfulfilled life can start from many small ways of seeing things. How do you live a fulfiled life with a new ways of seeing things?
I am refreshed by how Oliver Burkeman think about social media and internet (which would be illustrated further).
Think about constraint we have and be okay with that.
Something problematic in this book
Pessimism over capitalism. Come on. There is something really obvious that capitalism contributed to the world.
I do not buy it when he mentioned that rich people often led a miserable life. It is not statistically proven and grounded. It is based on the author`s intuition. My intuition is that money has much utility in fact. It is important to note that many rich people are corrupted by their possession of money, rather than money itself.
In LR we are all dead. P1
Jean Calment only lived for 122 years, which is equated to 6400 weeks
80 yrs old = 4000 weeks
Time management should everyone`s chief problem
In greek, we take mortality into a defining problem
Source of our problem
Obsession with inboxes & to-do lists, guilty of getting more done
Online distraction
Large companies grab our attention and time, use content to drive ppl in rage
We are insufficiently busy, languishing in a dull job
Used up time in a way I don`t want
Time seems to speed up as we age p10
Why books and tech do not work?
Books and tech do not work well & make us feel busier yet emptier.
Self-defeating pattern of time management
“Time feels like a unstoppable conveyor belt.” Said Edward T Hall. p11
Self-defeating pattern emerge. We are better at racing to-do list, although it does not make us easier p11
PPl just work harder & it becomes an emblem of prestige, contrarian to historical rich who considered themselves special for not having to work.
How poor practices of time management are formed? How does it relate to classes?
Business of the better-off is contagious. They just cut cost and make more money, which adds to the insecurity of those down below. p12
Keyynes once said in a speed in 1930. No one would have to work > 15 hours a week. And we will have to be faced with new challenges of filling our newfound leisure time
When ppl make enough money 2 meet their needs, they just find new things to need & new lifestyle 2 aspire to p12
Unique Perspective: What are the difference between senses of time of a preindustrial revolution person and postind. person
Our modern way of thinking about time vs classical
Experience a heightened awareness of vividness of things
“Living in deep time” Said Richard Rohr
On the metaphor of conveyor belt, we fill in workload into our timebox
New concept of time
Imagine time to be something separated from us & the world from us
e.g. $20 per hour
We judge our life against imaginary gauge p16
Time-oriented
We keep pace, congratulate ourself for staying on top of things p17
Treating time as a resource, from vaguely defined pay-by-day to a precise defined pay-by-hour
Ruminated feelings: anxiety, guilty and shame generated
Task-oriented
Workers who did not drive themselves hard were guilty of cheating (Amrose Crowley)
Stress & guilt from this view of using time
The only answer is to use time more efficiently, drive harder and work for longer
Dominate and control to release the feeling of guilty and stress p20
You have to play a game that makes you feel you are not well enough
The more we define enough as limitless control no one can gain,
the more anxiety and unfulfilling life you got
Fundamental problem
Paradox of more commitment
The more you take on commitments —> You are more filled with activities you don`t value —> the less you ask if new commitment is worth it —> the more you take on commitment p24
The more you hurry —> The more you encounter tasks that won`t be hurried —> The more compulsively you plan the future —> The more anxious you are —> The more you hurry
An Irony in life: fighting our own built-in limitations
Business is an investment into fighting our own built-in limitations
An irony in terms of email: infinite inputs and finite outputs
Efficiency trap of productivity tools
Efficiency trap: We create new things to do when getting things done. E.g. Reading email. Forgetting emails actually leads to more emails. (Steve said: Not necessarily if we prioritize those more valuable emails.)
What our drive to have more experience leads to this problem
Internet makes this painful without living up 2 its promise to save time exposing 2 potential uses
Author`s proposition
Focus on the most impactful thing & bear the comfort of knowing that p35
Existential overwhelm solution: tackle small pieces of experience I do have time to enjoy p35
We cannot always live more. Must define ourselves
Hedegger`s unique POV
We are a flow of time which defines us. Said Heidegger p40
Hedegger: We need to appreciate the world that it`s there at all (p40) and we are completed defined by a limited amount of time
Sarah Bakewell: It always passes us by
Live our life = face up that fact p41
Willing to acknowledge our limitation. p41
Any decision I make is very limited
In a Latin world decide means to cut off (slice away the alternatives, close to homicide & suicide)
Everyday might be the last of our life. We should not pretend
“morbid and stressful” from a ordinary perspective
How do we solve this?
Take ownership and avoid responsibility and tell we don't get to choose
Have truly authentic relationship with life by embracing our finitude p42
“Sober joy” “bright sadness”
"I happen to be alive" mindset to tackle existential hunger
I happen to be alive. said David Cain p45
Whatever I choose to fill, I have the timebox p46
I have no right to expect. Joy of missing out and embrace it p47
Make time for the most important thing first. Get all done and have room for less important things p49
Feel busier and believe I ll solve business by screaming more. It can be solved by peace of mind in present and focus on doing a few that count p24
Wonderful experience exposes ourselves 2 more overwhelming p33
3 principles
3 principles: 1/ The art of creative neglect:first pay yourself to do what`s the most important in the 1st hour and schedule meeting with oneself, mark it on your calendar p50
Break down projects into manageable chunks p51
I will be disappointed if I first dealt with other important demand and then I tried to find time for my most valued activities: I must get going if I plan to spend some of my 4000 weeks doing what matters most to me.
2/ Limit the work in progress , fix an upper limit on number of things
Preserve the sense of control at the cost of never finishing anything important
3/ Resist the lure of middling priorities. Warren Buffet organizes around the top five things and avoid the 20 things at all cost p52
Kafka struggled with two selves, one in love with his lover but the other so consumed by his work p55
Early commitment and The tragedy of a tinted rose pink vision of future
Why we have too much hope into the future? And how does commitment help us?
“The idea of the future, pregnant with an infinity of possibilities is thus more fruitful than the future itself, and this is why we find more charm in hope than in possession, in dreams > reality” p55
It is absurd yet appealing to indulge my hope into the future, even if the future and present are contradicted p57
For the lovers, seeking dependable source of excitement and stability on one person are impossible
According to HU social psychologist Daniel Gilbert, two groups under control 1group Had a month to exchange their poster 2nd group only make the decision final.The 2nd group has greater appreciation
Insights in cultural traditions, especially marriage. Have committed themselves to one finite cause of action, which closes off fantastical alternatives. p58
Attention Economy & its impacts on our life
What we pay attention to will define what reality is. Said Timothy Wilson. p60
We only attend 0.0004& of info our brain encounters at present p60
Distracted person did not choose and command their attention p61
You have to pay attention to care for something p62
Our devices distract us from important matters and change how we define
“They hurt our capacity to want what we want to want.” said Harry Frankfurt. p64 I found it interesting
Feel fearful, stay at home if social Media convinces us the violent crime is a bigger problem than it is.
The hopelessness of the world online began to seep into the world of concrete.
Attention is hard to monitor itself. Confrontation, disaster or vague sense of foreboding are ot a basis for a fulfiling life.
It is easy to assume that this is what life these days inevitably feels like.
TS Elliot said we are “distracted from distraction by distraction.” p65
Attention economy is a political crisis, which sorted us into hostile tribes and reward us. p65
Confront chalenge and a willingness to tolerate discomfort
We need to focus on meaningful but challenging task at hand,
Younge focused on the experience intensely and later his discomfort goes away
.The real problem is his internal resistance, what within us keep us distractedp67
Rowana Tsai: Put on the calendar that is non-negotiable, play and work
Sensama. The one place to put everything
The discomfort of what matters: Give you permission to risk feeling “claustrophobic, imprisoned, powerless and constrained by reality p69
Boredom = uncomfy to deal with my limited control. You need to resign yourself to reality p69
Browsing online is not fun. Only it dulls the pain of finitude p70
In a conversation, pay attention, which takes effort and patience
Accept the unpleasant and confront our limited control
It is paradoxical to accept the reality`s constraints. To accept lack of solution as a solution p71*
An impossible mission to plan for the unpredictable
Hof`s law: Any tasks I plan to tackle always take longer p73 The activities we tried to plan for actively resist our efforts to make them conform to our plans.
Future won`t give promise and that is why we plan: turn future into more predictable p74 Demand reassurance he craves. which does not offer the reassurace he craves.
e.g. you can never be certain that somthing won`t make you late no matter how many spare hours you build in.
Idea of a time as something we have is different from our other possessions. Said David Cain p75
Insurance 2 control time is not wrong p76
It`s the anxiety that comes from proving those success
In reality, we have no guarantee. Our existence is a coincidence. Future= uncontrolled p77
A plan is just a thought. Said Joseph Goldstein p79
Don`t take plan too seriously
We often say “my life”. We make life our own, which makes life worse. The more you focus on using your time well. the more each day begins 2 feel like somthing you have to get through p80
Focus on where I headed > where I am locating the “real” value of your life at some time that you haven`t yet reach and never will.
Real value of life never will come if we choose to live in the future
“When I finally” mind would result in an unfulfilled life. p81
The author reflected that his fixation on using time well meant using his son as a tool to relieve his own anxiety, treating him as a means to his hypothetical future sense of security and peace of mind
Let your one-year-old sleep on your chest. Baby trainer thinks it as a bad habit. The author argues that it saps the intrinsic value of childhood if you turn childhood into a training ground. p84
Thoughts of baby training with focus on future p82 , Step on moment shows we forget p85
A Division of Time: Work and leisure
It explains that capitalist`s life is sapped of meaning usually p85
Billable hour and non-commited time p86
Real meaning of existence starts with now. no delay p86 SO throw yourself to now and stop postponing the real meaning of your existence into future
Our purpose is largely derived from desire not to die John Keynes p87
Trying too hard” is bad for “to be present” and sex p89
Noticing you are always nothing outside of life. Said Jay Matthew p89
Recreation is not optional. Social pressure of not working.
Leisure attitude before Industry Revolution:
Latin word for business: negotium, = “not leisure”, relecting the view that work was a deviation from the highest human calling. It might be an unavoidable nacessity in a slave`s POV. It is undignified and not alive. p92
A new hierarchy has been established: Work demanded to be seen as the real point of existence; leisure was merely an opp for recovery and replenishment.
Focus on the pleasure of experience only. Not a waste of time p94
40000 hours inescapable and we `d better show up p96
Make sure the rest actually happen. p96To rest for the sake of rest. accept they are. “We are the sum of all the moments of our life” Writes Thomas Wolfe, “all that is ours is in them: we cannot escape it or conceal it”
The notion of “on the receiving end” from religion could be applied to everybody. No need to justify your existence by what you need to do p97
To spend some time for its own sake p100
A,S, Not yet having is bad. Getting is worse. Lacks objective of willing .its being is a burden
Hobby stigma is a defense mechanism. to spare us from confronting possibilities that they are happy in a way that the rest of us pursuing our relic lives. Hobby with embarrassment can be a true fulfilment p101
An embarassing hobby should be seen as a good sign that you are doing for its own sake > some socially sanctioned outcome
It`s fine to be mediocre at hobby p102
Results comes later and always too late.
We are usually unwilling to acknowledge the limit p103
Patience and Hustle Culture
A way to help those who are alcoholics: accepting rock bottom of emotion to accept unpleasant emotions p108
Viruous cycle of negative emotions —> alcohol —> frictions at work and at home p107
Addiction to speed. Brown: modern disease of accelerated living. Move faster —> “feel” our lives under control —>clear we ll never succed in getting ourselves or the rest of the world moving as fast as we feel is n
Patience is gained when aware of limitation p109
Necessary and other effects of moving fast like poor work outpit & damaged relationships 108
Patience is acceptance that things take time p110
Accommodate myself into a lack of power
Fantasy of control = real sense of absence from that reality p113
In Jennifer Robert`s art history class in Harvard University, her training is to actively noticing presence and its benefit
Peck`s insight: To endure the discomfort of not knowing often invites a solution to present itself, take time to learn
And it applies to every area of our life. Do not race to a solution. be comfortable of not knowing. p114
Three disciplines of patience p114
1/Develop a taste for having problems. p114 Life cannot get rid of problems. Engage each one at a time p115
2/ embrace radical incrementalism, cultivate interest by doing small and acknowledge the limited control over the speed of creative process p115
Willing to stop when your daily time is up. And come back to the project again and again to strengthen the muscle of patience, and sustain my productivity over an entire career p115
3/ Take time on a well-trodden road > an exciting one p117
4/ Unoriginality could lead to originality. p116
You deny yourself the possibility of exp. those richer forms of uniqueness that are reserved for those witht the patience to travel the well-drodden path first. Have to stop moving around!
The value of time needs synchronizing with others p119
Weekend offers respite from shame (of not working) p121
Getting the hang of hopelessness P145
See that things aren’t going to be okay
Focus on what we can to help and no longer feel I have to reassure ourselves about certainties and happy ending p145
Why we need to accept hopelessness? And what does it mean to us?
Another way to see it, To give up hope is to kill the fear-driven, control-chasing and ego-dominated version of me. As a result, we are open to confront how things are and let all the good things in more fully p147
My final thoughts: why this book is a gamechanger
Limited time is a cause for relief. Give up on perfection and embrace the glorious possibility of get working.
I did not get the point of why people do the calendar thing all the time. I feel they feel like a calendar machine, half-human, half-calendar. And I am almost forcing myself to use it with inner resistance. Just recently I understand that people have scheduling tools for a reason when time became scarce resources hundreds of years ago. And this book really makes me want to start to use calendar tools and take accountability with my life.
This book also changes my thought about marriage. The book speaks to me. And I used not to appreciate marriage at all. And now I can see it. There is value in closing off other options.
Steve is a thinker, innovator, practitioner of digital marketing, founder of Flying Pug Digital, a boutique digital marketing agency. He writes about productivity, trading, business opportunities and actionable food ideas in his blog: 1000 book notes and food ideas. His background is in digital marketing with expertise in Google ads, Facebook ads and AI-driven content. Based in Toronto, ON, Steve has a master of Digital Experience and Innovation from the University of Waterloo. When he is not hard at work, he likes to reading, writing and trading.
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